Slayage the Discworldian Way!
by Rozi
Summary: Lina and Naga (Slayers) are called to retrieve an item from the Unseen University to stop a rampaging demon outbreak, the two most insane anime soceresses trapped in Discworld? Let insanity COMENSE!


**Slayage the Discworldian way!**

**Rozi-chan**

****

** I am a fan of a REALLY good anime, it's called Slayers. It's a comic fantasy series about an explorer/ dragon slayer named Lina Inverse and she basically goes around blowing stuff up and it's extremely funny. All of you who have seen Slayers probably already know this. I'm sticking to Lina and Naga's adventures (the Slayers specials), I don't know the other characters well enough to write a fanfiction about them. So there will be no Gourry, Zelgadis, Xelloss, Ameria or Filia. Sorry guys! Just Lina and Naga. Going to the Discworld… ^^; Oh dear. **

"FIRE BALL!" 

Lina's blast flew like the end of the world through the forest and into the demon; it looked bewildered for a moment, then tried to gather its bearings. 

"Freeze Arrow!" 

the great Naga the white serpent's attack caught the creature unawares and froze it in a giant block of ice. Its face looked rather surprised as it was encased inside and Naga cried out in triumph. 

"Ha-HA! Take that evil creature, thanks to the GREAT and beautiful Naga the Serpent and her junior associate you are defeated!"

Lina rolled her eyes "Junior associate? More like brains of the outfit!"

Naga ignored her comment, she usually did, and her attention was caught by the cry of glee that came from the bushes.

"Oh thank you! You saved me from certain DEATH! I pour upon my thanks to you my saviours-"

Lina saw a small, rather pathetic looking man, climbing hurriedly out of the bushes. He wore bedraggled priestly robes and carried a staff encrusted with runes and a large jewel at the top.

"Oh man, a priest! That's all we need!" Cried Lina.

"Yeah," Naga said, "it's unlikely he'll have money to pay us!"

He fell to his knees in front of Naga and Lina and cried aloud "Oh I don't know HOW to repay you!"

"I do-" Naga begun, but Lina quickly buried the rest of her sentence by treading on her foot. 

"You're a priest, how exactly do you intend to repay us?" She said.

The priest smiled nervously and stood up "My name is father Galan, I am the high priest of the highest God: Juan!"

He paused dramatically. 

Naga and Lina looked at each other and said "Who?"

"… I take it you are not the religious kind then," said Father Galan, disappointment in his voice, "any chance of a conversion?"

"No."

"None what so ever."

He sighed "Thought so, anyway, I have an idea of how I can repay you!" He stood up and fumbled in his robes for a moment and came out with a book.

"Oh yay, a book? We risked our necks against that demon and you give us a book? Per-lease!" Naga begun to walk away, but then the priest grabbed her shoulder.

"It is so much more than that! It has a spell that can take you to another dimension!"

Lina raised an eyebrow "But I thought you religious guys weren't into magic."

Galan nodded "Normally we aren't, but in extreme circumstance, such as now, we really see no other choice."

He thumbed through the book.

Lina stepped forward "Any way, why would we want to go to another dimension?"

Galan looked up from the book "Demons like these ones have been cropping up all over the place! Especially near our most sacred temple and we know where they have been coming from."

He indicated to a label attached to, for want of a better word, the creature's chest. Encased in ice, it was still readable; 

**Hello my name is:**

**Hoxjpsvhjdo**

**How may I help?**

"What's that all about?" Said Naga.

"They are from a place called The Dungeon Dimensions," said Galan grimly, "exactly as I feared."

Lina looked puzzled "What in the nine Hells are the Dungeon Dimensions?"

"A terrible place, where creatures so horrible and ugly stalk a vast plain of never ending suffering!" Galan cried with horror.

Lina snorted with laughter "Naga should feel right at home then."

Naga growled and said "You can talk; boob-less."

Galan took a step back from the rather explosive fight that broke out. He calmly stepped out of the way of a "Fire-ball" and then ducked the other way to avoid "freeze-arrow."

"Girls?!" He cried "It you take on this task then I'll pay you-"

They stopped, looked around and quickly got themselves together. 

"Pay?!" Cried Naga "Well why didn't ya say so earlier?!"

She stepped heroically forward "I Naga the great-"

"Yes yes," said Galan quickly "I will pay you five hundred gold coins for the task I am about to give you is dangerous! You may not survive!"

Lina scoffed "You kidding? We've been through worse, besides, for five hundred gold coins I'd say it'd be worth it!"

Galan smiled "So you'll accept?"

"Hell YEAH!"

"Alright then," Galan said and turned "Would you care to follow me?"

Something odd was going on in Unseen University late at night, which, although it didn't normally worry the people there that much, it certainly was worrying them now. 

Especially Ponder Stibbons.

He looked at Hex, the University's great computer, as it made odd noises, rumbling like an over cooked pot of popcorn and was coughing out streams of paper with odd writing on.

"What in name of all the Gods is going on?!"

It was the ever present voice of Archancellor Mustrum Ridcully came booming toward the High Energy Magic Building. 

"I can't bloody sleep with that racket! Would someone care to shut that damn thing off?" He bellowed.

"But sir!" Ponder cried excitedly "Something extraordinary is happening!"

"So? What else is new? It is the Unseen University! Extraordinary becomes… ordinary around here! So why get exited about it now?"

The archancellor burst in and saw Hex "Ye Gods!" He roared "Someone fetch me staff! If I don't do something it will blow us all to kingdom come!"

Ponder rushed forward and picked up a piece of paper and stared at it "Sir, it doesn't make sense!"

"Since when did it EVER make sense?"

"No… I mean the writing! It's… funny."

Ridcully sniffed and took a piece of the writing from Ponder's hands.

"…It's all bloody Klatchian to me!" He said "Could Hex translate it?"

"Er… I don't know. It looks kind of like… Agatain? I'm not sure…"

"What's going on?"

The Dean, the Senior Wrangler and various other members of the faculty came storming in, looking sheepish in their pyjamas.

"That's what I am TRYING to find out!" Said Ponder irritably "I think something's terribly wrong with Hex."

Then the rumbling stopped.

The faculty were silent for a moment, staring at Hex. 

"Is it… okay?" The Dean whispered.

Ponder edged carefully toward Hex and looked at the new streams of paper that were appearing.

"These make more sense," he said "Hex appears to be translating the texts."

"Oh good! What does it say?" Ridcully said.

"Uh… "Dimensional instability… Dungeon Dimensions tapped… Out of cheese error... redo from start…duck…"

"Duck?" Said the Dean.

Luckily, they took Hex's advice.

Galan showed them to the temple, not to far away from where they had been. He led them into the dusty little room behind the main temple room.

"I will show you what I want you to do and where you have to go," he said, heaving a glass bowl the size of a small child out of a nearby cupboard "I warn you, it's very… odd."

"No problem," said Lina "Me and Naga are used to odd."

Galan blew dust off of the bowl and coughed "Right then, look into the bowl."

Lina and Naga looked at the great class bowl as Galan chanted some mystical incantation. 

The shadows in the bowl danced and changed under the spell, like ink in water and formed a shape that looked like…

"A turtle?" Said Lina "It's got elephants on its back!"

"What's that flat round thing on their backs?" Asked Naga.

Galan nodded sagely "That my dear girls is The Discworld!"

"The what?" said Lina.

"It's a world in another dimension, the world that swims on the back of Great A'tuin the Star turtle and is carried by the four elephants. The Dungeon Dimension steams from this one."

"Neat," said Lina "What's it got to do with our five hundred coins?"

"What I want you to do," said Galan "is to retrieve an item from the Discworld and bring it to me."

"You mean," Naga interjected "go to another dimension?"

"Yes, I did say it would be dangerous."

Naga stared at the image of the Discworld and smiled.

"It looks interesting," she conceded "what item would this be?"

Galan waved his hand over the bowl again and the image of the Discworld disappeared, in its place was a magical looking item, made from an odd kind of wood that glowed with a sort of purple green colour. 

"This is called an octagram; the magic users on the Disc such as the wizards use these to create spells." 

 Lina looked closer.

"It is imperative you find me this item, it will help my bind the demons of the Dungeon Dimensions in their own dimension and stop them from spilling into our world," said Galan gravely.

Lina nodded "An octagram, right. Where will we be able to find them?"

Galan waved the bowl and a building appeared "This is the Unseen University; they have an abundance of octagrams there. I will open a portal there; you are to look for the octagram and return as quick as you can. I'll create the portal in about four hours, I'm afraid if you miss the portal then it will take me a long time to make another one, perhaps I will never be able to and you will be stuck there!"

Naga smirked, "No problem! I will find it!"

"Don't you mean _we will find it?" Said Lina suspiciously._

Naga waved at her dismissively "Oh yes, we, I meant we." 

Galan led them back into the main temple room "I will prepare the dimension travel jump immediately. I hope you two are ready!"

The demon was no bigger than a football, but it shot out the wall with blistering speed and smashed into the opposite wall just above Ridcully's head. 

"Where did _that come from?!" He cried._

Ponder quickly plucked the Dean's hat off his head and ran after the little demon as it bounced off the walls like an angry rubber ball. 

"I can't catch it Archancellor!" He cried.

It bounced out of the room and down the corridor.

"It's heading to the kitchens!" Cried the Dean "Stop it!"

It rebounded off the walls in the kitchens, breaking pots, pans and the gigantic cooker that supplied the all important meals to the university's inhabitants. 

"There's a demon in the kitchen!" Cried the Senior Wrangler "What are we going to do!"

"Go and get me bloody staff!" Cried Ridcully rolling up his sleeves and got that look in his eyes "I'll show you what to do!"

Ponder fetched Ridcully's staff, and he pointed it at the demon. 

"I'll blast the little bugger to a bloody crater!"

The other wizards ducked as the octarine fireballs hit the walls, in the demon's trail as it continued like a comet off the walls and ceiling. 

"Hold still ya little devil!"

"Archancellor! You'll hit-"

The right wall fell away under an immense blast, the size of a large rock that thundered into the night.

"Gotcha!"

BBBBBBOOOOOOMMMMMMM

Part of the roof came crashing down. 

Ridcully stepped confidently over the fallen masonry and found the body of the demon.

"That is how you be a wizard!" He boomed in triumph "Come on yer yellow pansies! What's the matter with you?!"

Ponder looked as if he were about to pass out, the others stared in utter horror.

They jumped at the sound of lightening coming from near the high energy magic building; it crackled and circled in a hurricane of octarine light until it finally stopped at the roof of the building and settled.

"What the hells is going on now?!"

To be continued…. 


End file.
